Spider Saloff

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Journal Entry by Spider Saloff

Barbra and Me and a Bus

September 21, 2010

Last week I performed in a showcase to promote my one woman play, Entertaining Guests at the Arts Midwest Conference.  This year it took place in Indianapolis IN.

Several performers that are with KMP Artists were coordinating travel together.  I was going to ride down with my pianist Dennis Luxion and famed Barbra Streisand impressionist, Steven Brinberg who was flying into Chicago.  So it was planned that we would both ride with Dennis and since Dennis wanted to drive home late that night, we would stay over and get our own way back to Chicago the next day.

Well we looked for a train to return but none were direct out of Indianapolis and would take forever.  So our best bet was to get a direct route on a Greyhound bus.  Something neither of us does all the time.

It seemed like it would be very simple with the bus terminal only being blocks from our hotel.  So we got a cab and went to the station.  It had all the allure that bus stations seem to universally possess.  That faint fragrance of Pine Sol and urine in the air, vending machines that don’t work and p.a. announcements that only dogs can understand.

There was confusion as to which line we were to be in and then we learned that we had to get in another line to get our bags checked.

So it is time to board our express to Chicago.  As we do, we see that the bus is almost full when we get on.  The passengers who are already there have obviously been on board from somewhere else…….like maybe…..prison?  So we wander to the back of the bus hoping that we can sit together and gab but the best we can do is to sit diagonally across the isle.  As we take those seats, Steven wants to put his back pack in the overhead above the man in front of me.  As he attempts this, the man growls out, “Don’t put your bag up there.  It’ll crush my stuff!”
Steven opts not to put it up there.  The guy is not someone you want to mess with.  He looks like the guy on Zig-Zag rolling papers, has 3 teeth and is covered in tattoos and seems to be in a really bad mood.  And God knows what “stuff” he has stowed above.

Steven then mentions how diverse the bus riders are.  We have a woman with three little kids in front of us, Mr. Zig-Zag across from Steven, and unconscious Mexican man across from me and some Amish people in bonnets behind us.  What an American experience.
And then there is us.  Too bad we were not in our costumes!  Can you imagine if Barbra was in her wig and nails!  The melting pot would have been complete.

We continued to have a grand old time anyway, leaning across the isle in our broken seats.  Mine was permanently leaning back and Stevens kept collapsing at unpredictable moments during the luxurious ride.

A feature that I had never seen before was that there was a plastic sort of bullet proof shield between the driver and the passengers that made it impossible for the passengers to get near him without permission.

About ¾ through our journey, the driver makes and announcement, “Ladies and gentleman we are currently on time for our expected arrival in Chicago, however I am now going to make an unscheduled stop to relieve myself.  You may get out and have a quick smoke if you like but this will take exactly 7 minutes and then we will continue and arrive Chicago at our scheduled time.”

So we pull over into a rest area.  Steven says, “Have you ever seen this before?”  I said, “No.  He seems to be sure that it takes him exactly 7 minutes.  I guess he has done it before.”

Some people get out for a moment and smoke but we decide to stay in for fear of being left behind. In 7 minutes we are back on the road.  One of the little kids is crying and almost falls down in the isle and we see a tender moment from Mr. Zig-Zag.  He catches the kid before he falls as he says, “its ok. Don’t cry.”

We are touched by his warm and fuzzy side.

About 20 minutes later our driver makes another announcement, “Ladies and gentlemen we are on time. I just realized that I forgot to check if all passengers are here.  Oh well, if anyone was left, the next bus will pick them up.”

Steven and I look at each, glad that we didn’t get off.  We finally arrive at the lovely Greyhound station in Chicago.  Amazingly it smells and looks like the last one but is bit larger…….and the vending machines don’t work there either.  We pick our so carefully checked luggage that is randomly thrown onto the sidewalk.  Good thing they made us get those bag check tickets!  

So we take our bags that contain more glamour than anyone can imagine get into a nice Chicago cab.  We are taken to our destinations and bid farewell in the afterglow of our trip.  We wave goodbye and agree, “We’ll always have Greyhound.”

Spider Saloff

Another Review Suggesting Folks Go Back to Gorton This Sunday

Going back to her roots as an actress and forward into a limitless (I hope) future as an author and composer, renowned jazz singer Spider Saloff spread her wings and embraced us all in her one-woman show Entertaining Guests Saturday night. 

The setting of the show was a memorial for the appropriately-named Butterfly where Spider and her guests entertained us and themselves with reminiscences, bringing laughter and also tears.

Every guest (there were 7) distinct and wonderful, remembered their friend in words, song and even dance – how he helped them, inspired them, loved them.  Spider’s characters made you feel, at the end, wishing you too had known Butterfly.

There is another performance this Sunday afternoon, April 25, at 4 PM at Gorton Community Center in Lake Forest.  See it now and see it later when it comes to a Chicago theater in the Fall. 

Kay Stemnock, (Chicago IL)

Feature in Evanston Review

Evanston-Review.com

Jazz vocalist Spider Saloff spins new one-woman musical

April 8, 2010

By LILLI KUZMA Contributor

Spider Saloff is named after a creature with eight legs and enviable weaving skills, and she'll need all the hands she can get for her one-woman musical which incorporates her talents as a accomplished jazz vocalist, composer and actress.

Saloff is starring in "Entertaining Guests," which debuts April 17 in Lake Forest. The musical revolves around a group of colorful characters attending a memorial service, a refinement of a project which began back in 2001.

Jazz vocalist Spider Saloff will inhabit several colorful characters in her one-woman musical, "Entertaining Guests," premiering at the Gorton Community Center in Lake Forest.  
(Photo by Steve Starr)

Lots of laughs

"It is a comedic tour-de-force, the characters are really wacky, but there are messages about humanity that will ring through to everyone," Chicagoan Saloff said.

"It's autobiographical, but I wrote myself out of the play," said Saloff, "because it's not my story I want to tell, but to have a (broader) appeal, touching on issues of diversity, dysfunctional relationships, and loss, but with comedy and poignant moments."

The "wacky" characters include a faded stage actress, a hairdresser from south Philly, a bearded poet, an east European limo driver, a sharp-tongued Scottish waiter and a German woman.

Accolades

"Entertaining Guests" also involves the talents of pianists Jim Sellers and Jeremy Kahn. Saloff is considered one of the finest jazz singers around, with scatting reminiscent of Ella Fitzgerald, and a smoldering style that has been compared to June Christy. Her compositions have been critically acclaimed nationally and internationally. Saloff has performed at renowned jazz and night club venues, performed with jazz luminaries and symphony orchestras, and has been a five-time winner of the prestigious Manhattan Association of Cabarets award for Best Female Jazz Vocalist. Saloff was also the co-host and co-creator of the Public Radio series, "Words and Music."

"I loved jazz from the time I was a kid," said Saloff, "and have no love for pop music. The music for 'Entertaining Guests' has all different styles, from blues to Broadway, very unusual songs, for each of the characters. I wrote all of the music. It's not like anything I've done before, a complete departure."

Saloff began her career in New York as an actress, but found her way to Chicago in 1993, when the late Bobby Short brought her to perform at the Gold Star Sardine Bar for a long run.

My kind of town

"I fell in love with the city, and I love living here," she said. "New York City is on a tiny island, and can only expand up. It is overwhelmingly crowded. In Chicago, we have the natural beauty of the lake, and the borders can spread. It is an urban oasis, nothing small town about it, a monster city really, yet Chicago still has its neighborhoods and is very Midwestern."

Saloff's real first name is Diane, but while in college she got the nickname "Spider" because of her long limbs, and later decided to use it as a stage name.

"At first, my manager was upset, said it sounded like the name of a rock star, but it has proven to be effective. I'm not confused with anyone else," she said, laughing.

'Entertaining Guests'

Spider Saloff's one-woman musical world premiere at 8 p.m. April 17 and 4 p.m. April 25 at Gorton Community Center, 400 E. Illinois Road, Lake Forest. (847) 234-6060 or www.gortoncenter.org

Spider Storms Chicagoland

Photos from the recent V-Day Lake shore Salon Series with Spider posted in Anne Gerber's column at Skyline Magazine and at RedCarpetConcierge.com

Spider will perform next with the Chicago Jazz Orchestra - Check the Spider Schedule for details.

Stay tuned for Spring performance dates for ENTERTAINING GUESTS and much more!